Have you ever tried contacting the dead? It’s not easy because they’re usually not alive. There are different ways of contacting the dead, one way is to use a ouija board, which is a board marked with letters, words and symbols over which rests a planchette or a small glass which, when touched with the fingers, is believed to supernaturally move and spell out words and replies etc. I’ve been told that doing this can result in your body and/or soul being taken over by evil spirits, which is something I’d much prefer to have enter my body in liquid form from a bottle or can and why, whenever I find myself amongst a bunch of ouija-board-people who are trying to contact the dead, I forcibly make the glass spell out, ‘I’m sorry our lines are busy at the moment but your call is important to us, in the meantime may I suggest a game of scrabble while I find Satan… I mean your deceased loved one.
Chinese whispers is good game and, I believe, was created to show us how much a story can change if heard-second, third or fourth-hand and, thus, why we shouldn’t listen to gossip. For example, a group of people sit around in a circle and the first person might whisper into the second person’s ear, “The magical red goblin ate 100 blue mushrooms on a green hill covered in bright yellow flowers.” The second person would then try and remember what the first person said so they can whisper it to the third person, which may end up changing slightly to, “The magical forest goblin ate 99 mushrooms on a red mountain covered in bright green flowers.” I like to teach people that gossip is really, really bad so when it was my turn I’d whisper something like, “My bright white ass is going numb, let’s go to the pub and get some evil spirits into us and, by the way, Mary, who is sitting opposite us, is a heroin addict.”
Yes, you can have a bit of a laugh with Chinese whispers but it’s not a very good way of contacting the dead although some might argue that any group of people over 18-years-old, who are suggesting playing Chinese whispers, may well be already there. ‘Googling’ the Internet is another way of contacting the dead and I proved it possible when I found Elvis in cyberspace, the only problem was I couldn’t communicate with him because, again, he was dead, and that’s where psychics come into play. Paid psychics don’t seem to communicate with people who have died, instead, they speak with people who have ‘passed-over’ and, frustratingly, once these passed-over-people get to ‘Never-Never-Land’ they can’t figure out how to spell anymore.
After a lifetime of living on Earth these now ex-alive people seem to have trouble getting more than one-letter-out at a time, which is why these alleged paid psychics will often sit in front of an audience and say, “I’m picking up on the letter, ‘D’… I think it might be the name, Don? I think it’s the letter ‘D’? ‘D’ for Don… does anyone know a Don who has passed over? Maybe your name is Don and someone is trying to contact you in the audience? Is there a Don in the audience?” (The audience quietly sit and stare) “I’m sure it’s a ‘D’ for Don, or Donald… ok, maybe it’s David? Dave? Davo? How about a Douglas? Or a Doug? I think it’s a ‘D’?” (The audience quietly sit and stare) “Ok, maybe it’s an ‘M’? Does the name, Michael ring a bell? Mick?? Macka??? Ok, how about a Mary???? Finally a woman seated in the back of the audience hesitantly raises her arm and says, “My mum had a talking parrot and his vet’s name was Michael?”
“That’s great!!” says the excited psychic, “And what was the parrot’s name?” “His name was, ‘Dave’”, says the woman, “but we always called him, Michael Douglas because he always whistled when Michael Douglas appeared on the telly.” “That’s him!” Says the psychic, “The letter, ’D’, is for Michael Douglas which is really, ‘Dave’. Your mum’s talking-parrot, Dave, is trying to communicate!” I can hear him… he’s trying to say something… something starting with the letter… ‘F’, does that ring any bells?” “Yes,” says the woman putting her hands to her face, “I can’t believe it, Dave’s trying to say either of 2 words.” “And what would those 2 words be?” says the psychic?” “Well”, says the woman, “considering my mum never owned a pet in her life and I made-up the whole story, I reckon there’s a damn good chance he’s trying his best to say, either, ‘Fake’ or ‘Fraud’.”
“Oh,” said the paid psychic, “I didn’t see that one coming.”
Cheers, vicplume.com
Tags: blue, earth, goblin, magical, mountain, mushrooms, parrot, plume, psychics, scrabble, telly, the, vic
